Be All You Can Be. Or Beethoven Will Frown Upon You.

Three years ago an American company called Shelby SuperCars – the SS as I like to think of them – rolled out the Ultimate Aero S…omething Or Another to claim the production car top speed record previously held by the Bugatti Veyron by just 3mph.

Just over a month ago, Bugatti promptly responded with the Veyron Super Sport.

Justly, the Veyron smashed the American’s face in; doing 267mph; 11mph more than the then Bush administration could come up with at the time.

Personally, I never really got what all the fuss was about because the SS never really had the Veyron on anything to start with. So it did 3mph more than the original land speed record set by the Veyron, but that’s just a town’s capture compared to seizure of Europe that Bugatti boasts.

In no other car can you go from a show at The Palais Garnier to a salt flat drag strip without so much as a blip. You simply do not turn up to chauffeur a member of the Japanese Imperial Family looking like a ragamuffin with wheels on.

You arrive in style, with your Bugatti Veyron, fit to say, “Jesus, fancy a ride in my new wheels? It’s got Hermès leather interior, Burnmester sound system, electronically adjustable everything, satellite navigation, and should there be need, a thousand horsepower under the bonnet.”

Simply having the SS build something with a million horsepower, no panache, a prayer for handling and wishful thinking for comfort, all wrapped up in what looks like construction scaffolding doesn’t make you better.

Leaving the topic of the Bugatti Veyron the greatest car ever made behind – because it just is – I’m led nicely to what really felt like addressing today.

If you set out today to build say, a dog house, would you in your mind set out to build the best dog house you know and will learn to build? Or just a combination of what was not originally meant to be a roof, four and a half walls, and some paint that says, ‘Beethov’ above the entrance?

In doing so, you’ll know very well that Beethoven isn’t going to be impressed when he sets his eyes on this arrangement. And he’s going to notice a couple of things about you as soon as he’s handed the keys to his new place. 1. You’re a shit craftsman, 2. You don’t love him enough to try harder, 3. He’ll know never again to give you all his hard-earned puppy money in return for your services of any kind.

In knowing so, what was it that would’ve compelled you to make it like so in the first place?

This is, as I’ve come to realise, man’s greatest downfall yet. Why do we speak without conviction? Why do we pursue without ambition or commitment? Why do we attempt anything knowing that it won’t be as good as it really could be?

If you’re going to do anything at all, do it with everything you’ve got. Do it to your heart’s content. Doesn’t matter if you fail or it turns out to be less than less than perfect. At least you’ll know that Beethoven got the best house he could have gotten from you, and he’ll appreciate it.

And he’ll come back to you for the remodel he’ll need in his puppy kitchen because he knows you’ll put in the same effort you did on your last job, which pleased him because it was the best.

Equally, I’d pay two million Euros – if I had two million Euros – for a Bugatti Veyron because it is the best a road legal car can be at going really fast. I’d also give away the function of my left leg for a lifetime with Kate Beckinsale because she’s the best thing god’s ever given man.

Adversely, I hate Protons and Peroduas. I can’t help but sense that their products were conceived during a corporate brainstorming session where fat, greedy blokes designed on screwing over the nation for a couple of quick bucks. Absent of inspired genius, no divine intervention and certainly no desire of leaving a legacy behind via the production of one really great/ proper car.

So if giving it your all – be it for the creation of a dog house, writing a blog article or loving someone – results in yours and everyone else’s long-term all-round happiness, why is it that we continue to be complete halfwits and do shit jobs on every bit of roadwork, science project, government initiative and so on? Knowing very well that there’ll sooner or later be a sad puppy that no longer loves you nor trusts you with any more of his puppy money.